Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Making Good News out of nothing at All

Dear Natascha,

Finally, some good tidings from you. Your sovereign wealth fund, GIC has finally controlled 9.5% in UBS. Finally, the Europeans have finally accepted the fact that they would be colonized. Of course, with UBS done, Citigroup and Merrill Lynch would be in our hands. We need to spin new financial derivatives to generate hype and bust economies for our money laundering operation.

Speaking of which, our mouthpiece have now changed the tone of news for the past few days. First, you got them to tell everyone that Singapore is the best place to live for Asia expats. Definitely, with the expensive casinos from Sands and Genting spreading their golden goose to lay eggs here and the F1 race running around the faked London Eye-lookalike called Singapore Flyer, we would want to get more of those people here. Once the new immigrants come, particularly the rich and the famous, you would start to see more liberalization, maybe you can start to whisper to the leaders that it's time for soft core pornography in Singapore.

I saw the second news about that 4th University going to be a medium size one here. Honestly, this method of appeasing the peasants with another university to put their kids in would not work. If they get a little richer, they would send them to those fun-loving Australian universities, particularly ANU and UNSW. My guess is that with so many universities, the government would generate more no-brain knowledge workers for the high tech jobs to be outsourced away from India to Singapore. That's of course the wishful thinking in the leaders' head.

The final good news which I think that you have made the peasants slow forgetting about the incompetence of the Home Minister is the idea of consumers will get greater protection under a strengthened law covering fair business practices. Of course, you would continue to put bad taxi drivers, bad restaurant waiters and waitresses and bad service providers from the banks to the fashion boutique shops that would irritate the hell out of the peasants.

Let congratulate on the good news you start to propagate.

Bad Luck Awaits,
Uncle Screwtape