Sunday, February 24, 2008

Left Pocket In, Right Pocket Out: Purchases of GIC and Temasek

Dear Natascha,

Great to hear from you. In my last letter, I made a quick mention on your recent feat to get Temasek and GIC to go investment banks purchasing. It is good that a few of you, those demons based in Asia, particularly, your fellow demon, who spent his time helping the Dubai Sheikhs to make acquisitions. Now, the enemy has come up with a new term to classify our money operation. They labelled them as Sovereign Wealth Funds.

You have to realize how mad I was when your other long distant related uncle, Asmodeus, started to implant the idea of subprime mortgages in those investment bankers in Wall Street. He wrote to me that he managed to con the traders to leverage on the wrong side of the deal, and caused them to lose billions. Of course, we know that Bear Stearns, Citigroup, UBS and many other banks has taken the brunt of the mortgage crisis. Luckily we have an insurance policy. We made sure that Asia is growing with money, so that they can help to cover the losses. Your role being part of the bigger operation, has brought a few sovereign wealth funds (along with your fellow demons) to save those wankers' ass. Of course, we managed to create more poverty in the US by having a lot of people subjected to predatory loans.

Now the whole world realized that Singapore is a rich country. I believe that it is not a good idea. We need banks off somewhere so that whenever we start losing money, we know where to find the left pocket. Of course, it created a new impression of the world in Singapore. It does not help your cause. Singaporeans have access to the new beast created by our enemy called the Internet. They would know that billions and billions are used to buy stakes in banks, while the money should be wasted on those poor peasants who are slowly replaced by the foreign talent from eastern Europe, Middle East, China and India everyday. You must stop being so open about your investments. Of course, I did a check on your portfolio and realized that Temasek owned a lot of banks in southeast Asia.

Of course, paying off the peasants in a non-election cycle is brilliant. After all, it's just 2 billion from a warchest of bigger billions (I will not divulge our figures so readily). Of course, with you whispering to the cabinet ministers and tell them to get rid of the real estate tax, we will have more money circulate around.

With Singapore being so stable, maybe you should join your sister in Malaysia to help to destroy the opposition there. It might be good to take a holiday and start getting your sister to seduce the relevant authorities to give their money to save the subprime-hit banks.

Meanwhile, I look forward to hear from you soon. Make sure that the Barisan National wins the election.

yours in HATE,
Uncle ScrewTape