Saturday, May 30, 2009

The 80-20 Percent Rule

Dear Natascha,

It has been a while since we have corresponded with each other. Our evil Lord has been working on several new initiatives to torment our enemy. We started with the subprime mortgage crisis, followed by the Lehmann meltdown and now the swine flu (H1N1 virus). Of course, engineering crises are a forte in my department. It helps to steer our minions in good light.

Your crisis management of the AWARE saga have been well taken by our Lord. Both the corrupted Christian Right and the secular militants (led by the gays and lesbians) have now engaged in a clear war with events like Pink Dot, the smearing of Siew Kum Hong NMP and the many back and forth between the supporters of the Feminist Mentor including Thio Li Ann. Our gains are from their constant war. As long as you are constantly fanning fires between the homosexuals and the Christian Right on both fronts, these activists from both sides of the House will fall in our hands at some point without them realizing it. Don't you think that it's so ironic? By committing the dishonourable deeds of poison pen and manufacturing smears on Siew Kum Hong, those Christians (who are now servants of our Dark Lord) are deviating away from our Enemy's teachings of being compassionate and humane. They did not realize that we have infused into them the corrupted way to re-interpret that stupid book provided by our Enemy. Similarly, the gays and lesbians will be drawn to our evil world with the constant attack of being discriminated. It's a war that never ends.

It looks like that the recent freak results in the Malaysian and US elections have alerted you to do some work on your minions front. The new announcements from the Prime Minister of Singapore on tweaking the political system have been wonderful, if not strategic. Yet, I believed that you have stolen from my playbook - the strategy of containment by providing a space for manufactured dissent. If the numbers are always 99% PAP and 1% opposition, the voters will constantly be locked to take extreme actions such that they might provide a freak result and vote our minions out.

By using this new idea of (1) increasing 9 to 12 single constituencies, (2) lowering the number of 6 member GRCs and (3) increasing the number of NCMPs to 20, your minions have effectively contained the victory for the next election. Honestly, it took you take long to convince that old man that it is better to treat the symptoms for a lacklustre and toothless opposition. After what's the difference between 82-2 and 64-20 in the layout of PAP and opposition members? In any argument, our minions will still win. That's the key - winning. We want to win the vote to allow our minions to run the Government linked Corporations and the sovereign wealth funds such as GIC and Temasek without any interference. The absolute numbers of increasing opposition does not matter anymore. A nice cosmetic change to bring the number to 20% of the parliament just give the Opposition to make more stupid mistakes. In fact, the stupid voters will now see our minions in positive light and continuing doing what they do best - sitting on the fence. I will suggest that you get more lawyers on your side for defamation suits, justify the Public Order Act and Political Films Act and make sure that power corrupts the opposition in Parliament. It's a beautiful trap that I am already smiling for our future.

You will update me more on your progress with our minions. I look forward to good news ahead.

In eternal Evil,
Uncle Screwtape