Saturday, May 17, 2008

It's all Politics, Stupid!

Dear Natascha,

I read your letters with glee and zest. For all that matter, your uncles Mo and Dang, in China and Myanmar have written to me about the recent disasters that our Dark Lord have inflicted on them: earthquake in Sichuan province and tonardo through Myanmar. According to Mo, the ploy is to stop those Tibetan activists protesting on the Olympics torch rally. How did these activists stop trying to catch fire, where there are bigger humanitarian causes for them to sort out? For the Myanmar, it is more for population control, as we need to keep the Junta in power. So, that's why you can see two different responses from two authoritarian regimes.

While I hear these poor people out in those countries, I am amused by a piece of news which you sent to me. It's concerning one of the cronies of our enemies, Mr Yaw Shin Leong from the Hammer Party. I laughed at the stupidity of this young and idealistic politician. Is he trying to do a Barack Obama, by coming up with stupid lines like "I bring people together"? Did he not understand politics is about divisiveness and backstabbing. In fact, through my last letter to you, that dumb moron by the name of Kway Teow Man is now saying that what Yaw does is right. Thanks to him, he has totally helped us in our cause to make our enemies look stupid.
In fact, he made it so academic that there is no problem with the vote at all.

In fact, here is how you should prepare against Workers Party in the next election. Whenever Yaw contested any ward, just keep putting his fiasco on every Internet website. Start making fake soundbites about his statement, "I vote for Teo Ho Pin because he is the better guy." If we continue doing that, everyone will think that there is no way but to vote for PAP. Yes, he has told us that the PAP MP in his ward is the better guy. Perhaps, he might join the ranks of our Enemy to be the better man. But human nature is dark, selfish and at times, vicious. Perhaps, you have poisoned Kway Teow Man again to defend stupidity, like the way how he defends that the government is always right. Of course, if he is indeed a past minion in the Civil Service we controlled, then we should take advantage of his stupidity to use politics to divide and conquer. In fact, thanks to him, now Yaw is associated with the PAP. Seriously, maybe you should consider drafting him to be your mole, and we would start another round of "The Departed".

Now, you can take our movement one step further, by selling to the rest of the electorate in Singapore (who are all stupid) that the WP endorses the policies of the PAP, hence there is no need to vote for WP. What a brilliant opportunity for us to exploit on.

Let's continue the politics and make life harder for the opposition. In fact, now our only enemy will be screwed from both ends. The first end is with the main party PAP being endorsed by them and the second end is those bad foggies like CSJ and JBJ would take the BBQ skewer to stab them.

The end where all Men pay,
Uncle Screwtape