Monday, April 14, 2008

The Uncle Scrouge Mentality

Dear Natascha,

It seems that things are calming down. The realm of politics and external forces often works hand in hand. While the turn of events for Obama in the US has made me cringed with evil cackle, I was equally annoyed by those silly idiots who are breaking up our Olympics party in China. I have told your Uncle Mo to start changing the financial projections for the merchandise we sold for this coming event. Revenues are dipping once again, but we would be sure to get it back through other ways and means.

While trawling through the Internet, I was reading your latest juxtaposition with great pleasure on how you got the Prime Minister of Singapore to talk about the lessons learnt from the Internet. In fact, what made the article brilliant, was not about how the Singapore government is planning to regulate it. In fact, your war room must be littered with people coming up with new policies for the Ministry of Information, Communication and the Arts (MICA) to ensure that the Internet has minimal, if not, negligible effect in the upcoming Singapore elections in 2011. The most impressive is the spin on making opposition politicians like Chiam See Tong (who is going to die without a successor after we destroyed his party with an insurgent idiot named Chee), Low Thia Kiang (complain and offer no solutions) and Sylvia Lim (with her reserved aka keep quiet attitude). The point is that these people offered no replies and are letting us steam roll them with our little chunks of propaganda.

While we keep the ball on making the opposition look bad as usual, the bloggers are starting a new war on the establishment. Some even claimed that we are like a iceberg, floating with a little portion but submerging with most of it below. Yet, no matter how these dumb bloggers whinge and whine, they would not understand the underlying currents of Singapore politics. In fact, I believe that you have done a great job in understanding Singaporeans. First, they loved money and second, they only want short term gains.

As long as we can erase their memory with the micro funding we offer them in the name of Progress Package, GST offset and Singapore shares, they would forget about all the injustice that we would have done to them. For example, I liked your application of the Uncle Scrouge mentality which is the miser attitude towards all financial transcations on the peasants. First, tell them that we are giving food vouchers and free meals to them. Second, when these poor folks come to our lions' den, we give them hell by saying that you are not members of NTUC and therefore, they are not eligible to pay. Finally, charge them a small fee for the vouchers. In the end, we only give away 50 cents, but made ourselves look good for champion the poor and helpless. We need to be like Scrouge because we need to keep our billion dollar town council funds and the multi-billion dollar for the acquisition of investment banks and corporations out there.

Continue our good work. In fact, the F1 race and Youth Olympics are coming. We would be making a killing and perhaps extend the giving away from 50 cents to 75 cents. Then, by the next election, the word "change" is forgotten.

Poor is a psychological condition,
Uncle Screwtape