Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Cabinet Reshuffle and the GIC Debacle

Dear Natascha,

Looks like Murphy's law is inundating our minions lately. First, there was the over amount of taxation that led to public unhappiness over a large surplus. Second, you lost one of the most wanted terrorists in town and there is no public account on what happened (except with that wayang enquiry that was set up). Third, our trusted UBS have failed us with their US$19B write down.

I understand that you are going to rebut me that the UBS deal made by the sovereign wealth fund GIC was a good one. After all, the peasants have no lack of understanding on how we have complexified things on the derivatives. In fact, you will tell me about that US$990M coupons that can be exercised as convertibles within the next two years. Remember, it is within the next two years, and now the CEO of UBS is stepping down. It looks like GIC has screwed themselves, and my only solution to this mess, is to for GIC to make another round of cash injection and this time round, be smart, go and take a board seat so that they would not screw things around. Those idiotic investment bankers within our side have made blunders after blunders lately. So, I will leave you to clean up the mess once again.

Now that comes to my next point about the cabinet reshuffle that has happened recently. The first thing I was not happy with is that you did not demote the Home Minister. That guy seemed to have made so much mistakes recently that I don't even know where to start. The Mas Selamat incident was the tipping point. If that is not funny, how about putting an arrogant manpower minister to become education minister? Did I not tell you that we need to satisfy those well-educated feminists by promoting one of them to be a cabinet minister? Now, even your mouthpieces are whining about the lack of a female cabinet minister.

It has also dawned on me that you have decided who you would eventually want to be the next prime minister of Singapore. If I have guessed your intentions corrently, it's either the defence minister Teo, the new education minister Ng, or the financial minister Tharman. They seemed to be reasonable choices for the next PM. Well, I don't really care about who it would be as long as they served our interests like crushing the opposition and short-changing every Singaporean on dollars and cents from GST to CPF.

I look forward to hear good and not bad news from you.

The Lies are in You,
Uncle Screwtape