Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Fixing the Opposition "Consistently"

Dear Natascha,

I read your emails on my blackberry with displeasure. It seems that your cronies are still making silly mistakes now and then. I was surprised that they are learning the flip-flopping nature of John Kerry, particularly on charging that blogger by the name of Gopalan Nair. The worst is that you are not banning blogger while letting him rant like a mad dog. Once again, you need to unleash our allies like Lucky Tan to deliver us from good.

For a start, you need to teach your cronies how to fix their enemies consistently so that the common people are afraid. Let's do some market research as a start. We can do an assessment of the four opposition leaders with what this blogger has written. Another blogger also told us how he feels about the four opposition leaders. Actually, to us, it's good that these four holds a seperate domain because it is easy to tear them apart when they are seperate. First of all, let's look at CST, he's getting old and thanks to our mole and his protege CSJ, he has given up but holding to a small turf. He has no more will and soon Potong Pasir will turn to us again. Second, JBJ is also old, and both CST and him are still fighting with old man over who's right or wrong. Their only reason for losing in the longer run is because unlike the old man, they have no successors or any young people who want to join their cause. That's why you have done the smartest thing by sending our top cronies to Harvard Business School so that they understand what institutional memory and leadership succession mean. So far, our Enemy has picked this group to be our adversary. Still they got loose cannons or should I called them politically inept morons like Goh Meng Seng and Chia Ti Lik who would make the opposition plight worse by being impatient.

My advice is to be consistent in the way you fix the opposition. Of course, with the powerful legislative apparatus you provided the old man and his motley crew, you can ensure these opposition leaders with lawsuits that would drive the young people away. After young Singaporeans are not like the young Americans, they would not dare to go out and vote a Obama. The young Singaporeans would hide or have no backbone to reject the poison pills (or scholarships) we prepare for them. The threat is disabled easily for these young people. As long as those talented Singaporeans are in our radar as civil servants, we don't need to worry anymore because we controlled their livelihood.

That comes to my final point. Even if we ever manage to send the Chee siblings to the asylum, we still have monkeys decrying on our enemies with the label of "approved opposition". Those monkeys don't realize that the key to beat us is to have these moderates who can take over when our cronies lose power. So, we are forever unbeatable because the opposition behave like those silly liberal democrats who got themselves screwed with party unity hitting into the dustbin.

So, we should rejoice in the word of our Evil Lord,
Uncle Screwtape