Dear Natascha,
The time in hell is always one of eternity. I have read your letters with glee lately, as the anger of the citizens your minions are controlling are starting to tone down. Looks like your strategy of calibrating the opposition so that a freak election won't happen is starting to work. Those citizens will have no time to think about how we impose control and create a false sense of security for them. The reason is simple, with our Evil Lord's new release of H1N1 virus and global financial crisis version 10, the whole world seemed to be caught in a constant fear and anxiety. If you are smart, you should be steering your effort to complete the finishing touches before the dawn of the next Singapore general election.
You should take a leaf from your cousin Rupert, who have recently made a scapegoat out of the Ponzi scheme maker, Madoff who cheated the whole world of US$50B. Not to mention those investment wankers we have seeded in Wall Street who are still enjoying high compensations with the same old broken record statement "we need to retain the best talent in Wall Street". In fact, nowadays cheap is a dirty word. Look at what happened to the British members of Parliament, a little mischief from my part has created havoc for them, where a daily London newspaper has exposed the misdeeds of these politicians in over claiming expenses. The British still think that politicians are working for their welfare. They should take a leaf from your minions to set the high pay from the start and use the convenient stonewalling strategy that we need to attract the best and brightest with high pay. In fact, politics need a 2.0 like how those clowns from the Internet that are constantly reporting the wrong news like Jeff Goldblum & Natalie Portman just "died".
Speaking of which, I read with distaste lately from one of your minions who was a supporter of our minions. I can't believe that our sub-minions have started to criticise our minions about sustainable development. Obviously, it is stupidity and written all over this clown that he's an ex-civil servant. How did he not know of your minions' strategy to control the citizens of the country by the pork barrel politics of upgrading and selling flats as assets? Perhaps, his brain is so fried that he did not understand the meaning of politics with a capital P. The other sub-minion has been trawling on the wrong side with discussions of elitism. You also need to start talking to your future spawns and ask them to tone down their elitist talk. Yes, we all know that those scholars your minions sent out are the best and the brightest from a selected subset of people who know how to pass exams, but they need to remember that what happened to the best and brightest during the French Revolution. The royals all ended up in the guillotine. Otherwise, you will get our enemies to provide an opening that will give the citizens power again. I also have to remind you to start preventing knowledge of those failed and weak elites (who killed themselves) your minions have selected from our "meritocratic system". The way to narrow the gap is to have our minions, the politicians to pretend that they care for the people and throw the civil servants (who spend 45K to learn to be chefs) under the bus.
My only advice for you to "fix" the ex-sympathizers of our minions is to continue and screw their brain with how the elites are failing them. As for our kid elites, be prepared to send them to correction camps like the Chinese did to their scholars during the Chinese Revolution.
Always Be Evil,
Uncle Screwtape
Showing posts with label PAP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PAP. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Good and Bad PR
Dear Natascha,
I have read your past few emails with interest. Ever since the bombshell of giving opposition more voice dropped into the blogosphere, you have effectively divided the opposition parties once again. Even if you have not given them that 20% parliament seats for more "voice" (or more loud hailers of course), they would still be in disarray. Don't these morons ever learn that the only day where they can wrestle control from our minions is the day when they can consistently speak in one proper voice and not sending mixed messages to the electorate?
You may think that this letter was sent to commend on your recent performances, particularly, those PR stunts you have been pulling off with the Old Man heading to Malaysia and visit friends (with all those hidden agendas to promote our Evil Lord's work) and the "holy" Goh visiting Myanmar to fake how concerned ASEAN are on their case to prosecute that politician (who they held hostage for the longest time). Event PM Lee's hypocritical statements of humility have made me laughed. It does not help when I see those who are attacking our minions bridging Animal Farm to be relevant to Singapore's current situation.
Instead, I am writing this letter to admonish you for the bad PR work you have been doing with Temasek. After all, Temasek is one of our Lord's money making machines. Your poor attempts to mask losses (given our Enemy controlled the liberal western media) have illustrated how incompetent our minions are in managing shit loads of money. You need to step up efforts not to let the peasants in Singapore to get hold of international news. Every time when the Financial Times and BBC throw up some articles about us losing money, your minions did not come up with good answers. Instead they made silly mistakes and it's making us a laughing stock to our Enemy who did not need a lot of effort to show the people that we are losing money. I will suggest that you take serious steps to push our minions to pay more and get good PR.
One last thing before I dropped my pen, you should probably think of way to move Lee Bee Wah out of the STTA job. She has been an eyesore and she seemed to have incur some wrath from the populace. It will be good to make sure that we have no stones unturned by the next election.
Your hate is my love,
Uncle Screwtape
I have read your past few emails with interest. Ever since the bombshell of giving opposition more voice dropped into the blogosphere, you have effectively divided the opposition parties once again. Even if you have not given them that 20% parliament seats for more "voice" (or more loud hailers of course), they would still be in disarray. Don't these morons ever learn that the only day where they can wrestle control from our minions is the day when they can consistently speak in one proper voice and not sending mixed messages to the electorate?
You may think that this letter was sent to commend on your recent performances, particularly, those PR stunts you have been pulling off with the Old Man heading to Malaysia and visit friends (with all those hidden agendas to promote our Evil Lord's work) and the "holy" Goh visiting Myanmar to fake how concerned ASEAN are on their case to prosecute that politician (who they held hostage for the longest time). Event PM Lee's hypocritical statements of humility have made me laughed. It does not help when I see those who are attacking our minions bridging Animal Farm to be relevant to Singapore's current situation.
Instead, I am writing this letter to admonish you for the bad PR work you have been doing with Temasek. After all, Temasek is one of our Lord's money making machines. Your poor attempts to mask losses (given our Enemy controlled the liberal western media) have illustrated how incompetent our minions are in managing shit loads of money. You need to step up efforts not to let the peasants in Singapore to get hold of international news. Every time when the Financial Times and BBC throw up some articles about us losing money, your minions did not come up with good answers. Instead they made silly mistakes and it's making us a laughing stock to our Enemy who did not need a lot of effort to show the people that we are losing money. I will suggest that you take serious steps to push our minions to pay more and get good PR.
One last thing before I dropped my pen, you should probably think of way to move Lee Bee Wah out of the STTA job. She has been an eyesore and she seemed to have incur some wrath from the populace. It will be good to make sure that we have no stones unturned by the next election.
Your hate is my love,
Uncle Screwtape
Saturday, May 30, 2009
The 80-20 Percent Rule
Dear Natascha,
It has been a while since we have corresponded with each other. Our evil Lord has been working on several new initiatives to torment our enemy. We started with the subprime mortgage crisis, followed by the Lehmann meltdown and now the swine flu (H1N1 virus). Of course, engineering crises are a forte in my department. It helps to steer our minions in good light.
Your crisis management of the AWARE saga have been well taken by our Lord. Both the corrupted Christian Right and the secular militants (led by the gays and lesbians) have now engaged in a clear war with events like Pink Dot, the smearing of Siew Kum Hong NMP and the many back and forth between the supporters of the Feminist Mentor including Thio Li Ann. Our gains are from their constant war. As long as you are constantly fanning fires between the homosexuals and the Christian Right on both fronts, these activists from both sides of the House will fall in our hands at some point without them realizing it. Don't you think that it's so ironic? By committing the dishonourable deeds of poison pen and manufacturing smears on Siew Kum Hong, those Christians (who are now servants of our Dark Lord) are deviating away from our Enemy's teachings of being compassionate and humane. They did not realize that we have infused into them the corrupted way to re-interpret that stupid book provided by our Enemy. Similarly, the gays and lesbians will be drawn to our evil world with the constant attack of being discriminated. It's a war that never ends.
It looks like that the recent freak results in the Malaysian and US elections have alerted you to do some work on your minions front. The new announcements from the Prime Minister of Singapore on tweaking the political system have been wonderful, if not strategic. Yet, I believed that you have stolen from my playbook - the strategy of containment by providing a space for manufactured dissent. If the numbers are always 99% PAP and 1% opposition, the voters will constantly be locked to take extreme actions such that they might provide a freak result and vote our minions out.
By using this new idea of (1) increasing 9 to 12 single constituencies, (2) lowering the number of 6 member GRCs and (3) increasing the number of NCMPs to 20, your minions have effectively contained the victory for the next election. Honestly, it took you take long to convince that old man that it is better to treat the symptoms for a lacklustre and toothless opposition. After what's the difference between 82-2 and 64-20 in the layout of PAP and opposition members? In any argument, our minions will still win. That's the key - winning. We want to win the vote to allow our minions to run the Government linked Corporations and the sovereign wealth funds such as GIC and Temasek without any interference. The absolute numbers of increasing opposition does not matter anymore. A nice cosmetic change to bring the number to 20% of the parliament just give the Opposition to make more stupid mistakes. In fact, the stupid voters will now see our minions in positive light and continuing doing what they do best - sitting on the fence. I will suggest that you get more lawyers on your side for defamation suits, justify the Public Order Act and Political Films Act and make sure that power corrupts the opposition in Parliament. It's a beautiful trap that I am already smiling for our future.
You will update me more on your progress with our minions. I look forward to good news ahead.
In eternal Evil,
Uncle Screwtape
It has been a while since we have corresponded with each other. Our evil Lord has been working on several new initiatives to torment our enemy. We started with the subprime mortgage crisis, followed by the Lehmann meltdown and now the swine flu (H1N1 virus). Of course, engineering crises are a forte in my department. It helps to steer our minions in good light.
Your crisis management of the AWARE saga have been well taken by our Lord. Both the corrupted Christian Right and the secular militants (led by the gays and lesbians) have now engaged in a clear war with events like Pink Dot, the smearing of Siew Kum Hong NMP and the many back and forth between the supporters of the Feminist Mentor including Thio Li Ann. Our gains are from their constant war. As long as you are constantly fanning fires between the homosexuals and the Christian Right on both fronts, these activists from both sides of the House will fall in our hands at some point without them realizing it. Don't you think that it's so ironic? By committing the dishonourable deeds of poison pen and manufacturing smears on Siew Kum Hong, those Christians (who are now servants of our Dark Lord) are deviating away from our Enemy's teachings of being compassionate and humane. They did not realize that we have infused into them the corrupted way to re-interpret that stupid book provided by our Enemy. Similarly, the gays and lesbians will be drawn to our evil world with the constant attack of being discriminated. It's a war that never ends.
It looks like that the recent freak results in the Malaysian and US elections have alerted you to do some work on your minions front. The new announcements from the Prime Minister of Singapore on tweaking the political system have been wonderful, if not strategic. Yet, I believed that you have stolen from my playbook - the strategy of containment by providing a space for manufactured dissent. If the numbers are always 99% PAP and 1% opposition, the voters will constantly be locked to take extreme actions such that they might provide a freak result and vote our minions out.
By using this new idea of (1) increasing 9 to 12 single constituencies, (2) lowering the number of 6 member GRCs and (3) increasing the number of NCMPs to 20, your minions have effectively contained the victory for the next election. Honestly, it took you take long to convince that old man that it is better to treat the symptoms for a lacklustre and toothless opposition. After what's the difference between 82-2 and 64-20 in the layout of PAP and opposition members? In any argument, our minions will still win. That's the key - winning. We want to win the vote to allow our minions to run the Government linked Corporations and the sovereign wealth funds such as GIC and Temasek without any interference. The absolute numbers of increasing opposition does not matter anymore. A nice cosmetic change to bring the number to 20% of the parliament just give the Opposition to make more stupid mistakes. In fact, the stupid voters will now see our minions in positive light and continuing doing what they do best - sitting on the fence. I will suggest that you get more lawyers on your side for defamation suits, justify the Public Order Act and Political Films Act and make sure that power corrupts the opposition in Parliament. It's a beautiful trap that I am already smiling for our future.
You will update me more on your progress with our minions. I look forward to good news ahead.
In eternal Evil,
Uncle Screwtape
Sunday, June 08, 2008
"Moral" Authority
Dear Natascha,
Thank you for sending the news on the recent defammation case between our minions on both side. I appreciate that you are now taking steps to dump those SDP clowns, particularly, in getting those who worked for us to "fix" them.
Like all evil schemes, it comes in a few steps. The first is to get those judges, well, court technicians, we call them to give us the strength of the law. I was happy that Belinda has done a brilliant job in charging the Chees with the contempt of court. I also appreciate the excellent work done by our minions to charge that Singaporean-turned American who associated the judge with a poorly thought imagery of prostitution. I have told your Uncle Rupert to stop those US politicians to come and make noise about our unfair way of treating that seditious blogger. That sets up the first step in our retaliation against our Enemy. The second step is to use our traditional media to paint the Chees in being mentally deranged. Chua Lee Hoong has done a fantastic job in creating the illusion that Chee is suffering from a psychological disorder. How did you get Chua Lee Hoong to bother about protecting our minions by writing a very poison letter out in the public? I wonder whether you have been part of whispering words into Chee's ears in making him act out the disorder. The third is to disband the SDP, which I am sure that you will get it done within weeks and months. Once we charged them to their pants dropped, those dumb peasants will feel even more helpless and go back to their pathetic lives of consumerism and materialism. Should we call for an election once the SDP is delisted from the political parties of Singapore?
Still, some of our enemies have figured our approach. They realized that the SDP is deliberately making our minions look bad. For example, in my part of the world, the old man looked like an old gangster in the Godfather Movie. The problem is that if we continue to act in the way that we disobey the law, the people will not give us the "moral mandate" to govern the country. Of course, we are evil, why do we believe in looking good? It's like we see celebrities like Heath Ledger, they look good but they are all drug addicts. So, it's important for our trade to look good but be bad. We need to start to change our image to appear benevolent again. The way to do it is to start with "good" news to fool the peasants like good tourism and high GDP growth numbers. It is imperative that we need to get some "moral authority" to further our cause of capitalism and disaster. I will propose some strategies for you to pass onto our minions.
First, spread the bribery again. Reduce taxes on the road and the food. Get NTUC to give more vouchers. We need to stop the peasants to think about the Chees but more about their livelihoods. Second, prepare to call an election in the coming year where the economy hit the rock bottom. If experience has told us, we often win elections when the economy is faltering. The peasants only turn to the PAP and no one else. If we win the next one, you can give Old Man a slack and let him poke fun at Mahatir about why he made a bad mistake for not becoming a senior minister. Third, we need to start having our minions like the Chua sisters to start blogging. Otherwise, the new media elements might create more disturbance in our dark forces. The easiest way is to start cracking down or get the new media elements to register. Forget the "light touch" and apply the "heavy hand" to silence our critics, particularly, those ex-civil servants or CEOs who are opening their big mouths on our CPF and healthcare schemes.
Evil is the heart of all things,
Uncle Screwtape
Thank you for sending the news on the recent defammation case between our minions on both side. I appreciate that you are now taking steps to dump those SDP clowns, particularly, in getting those who worked for us to "fix" them.
Like all evil schemes, it comes in a few steps. The first is to get those judges, well, court technicians, we call them to give us the strength of the law. I was happy that Belinda has done a brilliant job in charging the Chees with the contempt of court. I also appreciate the excellent work done by our minions to charge that Singaporean-turned American who associated the judge with a poorly thought imagery of prostitution. I have told your Uncle Rupert to stop those US politicians to come and make noise about our unfair way of treating that seditious blogger. That sets up the first step in our retaliation against our Enemy. The second step is to use our traditional media to paint the Chees in being mentally deranged. Chua Lee Hoong has done a fantastic job in creating the illusion that Chee is suffering from a psychological disorder. How did you get Chua Lee Hoong to bother about protecting our minions by writing a very poison letter out in the public? I wonder whether you have been part of whispering words into Chee's ears in making him act out the disorder. The third is to disband the SDP, which I am sure that you will get it done within weeks and months. Once we charged them to their pants dropped, those dumb peasants will feel even more helpless and go back to their pathetic lives of consumerism and materialism. Should we call for an election once the SDP is delisted from the political parties of Singapore?
Still, some of our enemies have figured our approach. They realized that the SDP is deliberately making our minions look bad. For example, in my part of the world, the old man looked like an old gangster in the Godfather Movie. The problem is that if we continue to act in the way that we disobey the law, the people will not give us the "moral mandate" to govern the country. Of course, we are evil, why do we believe in looking good? It's like we see celebrities like Heath Ledger, they look good but they are all drug addicts. So, it's important for our trade to look good but be bad. We need to start to change our image to appear benevolent again. The way to do it is to start with "good" news to fool the peasants like good tourism and high GDP growth numbers. It is imperative that we need to get some "moral authority" to further our cause of capitalism and disaster. I will propose some strategies for you to pass onto our minions.
First, spread the bribery again. Reduce taxes on the road and the food. Get NTUC to give more vouchers. We need to stop the peasants to think about the Chees but more about their livelihoods. Second, prepare to call an election in the coming year where the economy hit the rock bottom. If experience has told us, we often win elections when the economy is faltering. The peasants only turn to the PAP and no one else. If we win the next one, you can give Old Man a slack and let him poke fun at Mahatir about why he made a bad mistake for not becoming a senior minister. Third, we need to start having our minions like the Chua sisters to start blogging. Otherwise, the new media elements might create more disturbance in our dark forces. The easiest way is to start cracking down or get the new media elements to register. Forget the "light touch" and apply the "heavy hand" to silence our critics, particularly, those ex-civil servants or CEOs who are opening their big mouths on our CPF and healthcare schemes.
Evil is the heart of all things,
Uncle Screwtape
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