Dear Natascha,
I have read your past few emails with interest. Ever since the bombshell of giving opposition more voice dropped into the blogosphere, you have effectively divided the opposition parties once again. Even if you have not given them that 20% parliament seats for more "voice" (or more loud hailers of course), they would still be in disarray. Don't these morons ever learn that the only day where they can wrestle control from our minions is the day when they can consistently speak in one proper voice and not sending mixed messages to the electorate?
You may think that this letter was sent to commend on your recent performances, particularly, those PR stunts you have been pulling off with the Old Man heading to Malaysia and visit friends (with all those hidden agendas to promote our Evil Lord's work) and the "holy" Goh visiting Myanmar to fake how concerned ASEAN are on their case to prosecute that politician (who they held hostage for the longest time). Event PM Lee's hypocritical statements of humility have made me laughed. It does not help when I see those who are attacking our minions bridging Animal Farm to be relevant to Singapore's current situation.
Instead, I am writing this letter to admonish you for the bad PR work you have been doing with Temasek. After all, Temasek is one of our Lord's money making machines. Your poor attempts to mask losses (given our Enemy controlled the liberal western media) have illustrated how incompetent our minions are in managing shit loads of money. You need to step up efforts not to let the peasants in Singapore to get hold of international news. Every time when the Financial Times and BBC throw up some articles about us losing money, your minions did not come up with good answers. Instead they made silly mistakes and it's making us a laughing stock to our Enemy who did not need a lot of effort to show the people that we are losing money. I will suggest that you take serious steps to push our minions to pay more and get good PR.
One last thing before I dropped my pen, you should probably think of way to move Lee Bee Wah out of the STTA job. She has been an eyesore and she seemed to have incur some wrath from the populace. It will be good to make sure that we have no stones unturned by the next election.
Your hate is my love,
Uncle Screwtape
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Friday, June 12, 2009
Saturday, May 17, 2008
It's all Politics, Stupid!
Dear Natascha,
I read your letters with glee and zest. For all that matter, your uncles Mo and Dang, in China and Myanmar have written to me about the recent disasters that our Dark Lord have inflicted on them: earthquake in Sichuan province and tonardo through Myanmar. According to Mo, the ploy is to stop those Tibetan activists protesting on the Olympics torch rally. How did these activists stop trying to catch fire, where there are bigger humanitarian causes for them to sort out? For the Myanmar, it is more for population control, as we need to keep the Junta in power. So, that's why you can see two different responses from two authoritarian regimes.
While I hear these poor people out in those countries, I am amused by a piece of news which you sent to me. It's concerning one of the cronies of our enemies, Mr Yaw Shin Leong from the Hammer Party. I laughed at the stupidity of this young and idealistic politician. Is he trying to do a Barack Obama, by coming up with stupid lines like "I bring people together"? Did he not understand politics is about divisiveness and backstabbing. In fact, through my last letter to you, that dumb moron by the name of Kway Teow Man is now saying that what Yaw does is right. Thanks to him, he has totally helped us in our cause to make our enemies look stupid.
In fact, he made it so academic that there is no problem with the vote at all.
In fact, here is how you should prepare against Workers Party in the next election. Whenever Yaw contested any ward, just keep putting his fiasco on every Internet website. Start making fake soundbites about his statement, "I vote for Teo Ho Pin because he is the better guy." If we continue doing that, everyone will think that there is no way but to vote for PAP. Yes, he has told us that the PAP MP in his ward is the better guy. Perhaps, he might join the ranks of our Enemy to be the better man. But human nature is dark, selfish and at times, vicious. Perhaps, you have poisoned Kway Teow Man again to defend stupidity, like the way how he defends that the government is always right. Of course, if he is indeed a past minion in the Civil Service we controlled, then we should take advantage of his stupidity to use politics to divide and conquer. In fact, thanks to him, now Yaw is associated with the PAP. Seriously, maybe you should consider drafting him to be your mole, and we would start another round of "The Departed".
Now, you can take our movement one step further, by selling to the rest of the electorate in Singapore (who are all stupid) that the WP endorses the policies of the PAP, hence there is no need to vote for WP. What a brilliant opportunity for us to exploit on.
Let's continue the politics and make life harder for the opposition. In fact, now our only enemy will be screwed from both ends. The first end is with the main party PAP being endorsed by them and the second end is those bad foggies like CSJ and JBJ would take the BBQ skewer to stab them.
The end where all Men pay,
Uncle Screwtape
I read your letters with glee and zest. For all that matter, your uncles Mo and Dang, in China and Myanmar have written to me about the recent disasters that our Dark Lord have inflicted on them: earthquake in Sichuan province and tonardo through Myanmar. According to Mo, the ploy is to stop those Tibetan activists protesting on the Olympics torch rally. How did these activists stop trying to catch fire, where there are bigger humanitarian causes for them to sort out? For the Myanmar, it is more for population control, as we need to keep the Junta in power. So, that's why you can see two different responses from two authoritarian regimes.
While I hear these poor people out in those countries, I am amused by a piece of news which you sent to me. It's concerning one of the cronies of our enemies, Mr Yaw Shin Leong from the Hammer Party. I laughed at the stupidity of this young and idealistic politician. Is he trying to do a Barack Obama, by coming up with stupid lines like "I bring people together"? Did he not understand politics is about divisiveness and backstabbing. In fact, through my last letter to you, that dumb moron by the name of Kway Teow Man is now saying that what Yaw does is right. Thanks to him, he has totally helped us in our cause to make our enemies look stupid.
In fact, he made it so academic that there is no problem with the vote at all.
In fact, here is how you should prepare against Workers Party in the next election. Whenever Yaw contested any ward, just keep putting his fiasco on every Internet website. Start making fake soundbites about his statement, "I vote for Teo Ho Pin because he is the better guy." If we continue doing that, everyone will think that there is no way but to vote for PAP. Yes, he has told us that the PAP MP in his ward is the better guy. Perhaps, he might join the ranks of our Enemy to be the better man. But human nature is dark, selfish and at times, vicious. Perhaps, you have poisoned Kway Teow Man again to defend stupidity, like the way how he defends that the government is always right. Of course, if he is indeed a past minion in the Civil Service we controlled, then we should take advantage of his stupidity to use politics to divide and conquer. In fact, thanks to him, now Yaw is associated with the PAP. Seriously, maybe you should consider drafting him to be your mole, and we would start another round of "The Departed".
Now, you can take our movement one step further, by selling to the rest of the electorate in Singapore (who are all stupid) that the WP endorses the policies of the PAP, hence there is no need to vote for WP. What a brilliant opportunity for us to exploit on.
Let's continue the politics and make life harder for the opposition. In fact, now our only enemy will be screwed from both ends. The first end is with the main party PAP being endorsed by them and the second end is those bad foggies like CSJ and JBJ would take the BBQ skewer to stab them.
The end where all Men pay,
Uncle Screwtape
Monday, March 10, 2008
Fearmongering 101: Black Monday and Stock Market
Dear Natascha,
Your cousin Natalie is becoming the death of me. Yesterday, after the surprising tsunami that changed the Malaysian political landscape, the Malaysian stock markets have suffered a big slump. With some of our cronies gone, the investors (who bribed our cronies) are planning an exit strategy. She was afraid that our evil Lord would send her to exile to another outpost, perhaps, Bhutan, where she could do nothing there. With the Barisan Nasional (BN) coalition winning only 63%, our financial operations might take a big hit pretty soon coupled with the horrible subprime mortgage crisis from the United States.
I see Black Monday for the Kuala Lumpur Composite Index (KLCI) as a new opportunity rather than a crisis for us. I can only blame on those spineless investment bankers from Goldman Sachs and Merrill Lynch for taking the chance to tell their investors that it was time to cash out. Of course, the investors are afraid that their pork barrel projects in the Malaysia economic zones would fall apart, and hence they start to take cover. It is a herd effect, as I see it. Our Enemy has made some efforts to rebut us, particularly, those MPs in the opposition from Penang has already started with the message that they would welcome investment. It is not enough because all those management consultants, investment bankers and industry leaders are all on our side. In fact, it is a perfect ploy for you to plan your strategy for the next Singapore General Elections in 2011.
The keyword is fearmongering. You can start with George, your favourite closet liberal foreign minister, by talking up that a political change in Singapore would cause problems in the economy. You need to hammer this slowly like how those epidemics start from small interactions and subsequently hitting the tipping point. If we do it slow and steady, by 2011, the peasants would start thinking that if they are constantly made to fear that if they elect the opposition parties and win one more GRC, the Singapore ST Index will fall and jobs will be lost. Spin it more with high unemployment rates and high risk of losing foreign investment from the US and China and once again, we would win 82 out of 84 seats in the parliament. Trust me, with how brainless and money-faced Singaporeans are, you can imagine where their votes would end up. Of course, always end with the Minister Mentor and his gangster message that the opposition would send Singapore to hell if they won the elections.
You might need some grassroots support, for example, Lucky Tan, to continue telling the blogosphere how good the Singapore government is and what a big risk that the Malaysian voters are taking or try the bimbo blogger, Molly Meek, with her singing praises of the Prime Minister's leadership. The other bloggers will cry foul of fearmongering but continue to do that would be fantastic.
I am not so worried about you, because the opposition in Singapore is not business friendly. As long as they don't understand economics, they would always lose. After all, what's freedom of speech if you cannot feed yourself? As long as they have no understanding of business, they are no way close to those people in Penang. That would be the key to how we utilise stock market crises for our own benefit.
Continue on our evil work, as chaos only serve us better on the long run.
With no intended pun,
Uncle Screwtape
Your cousin Natalie is becoming the death of me. Yesterday, after the surprising tsunami that changed the Malaysian political landscape, the Malaysian stock markets have suffered a big slump. With some of our cronies gone, the investors (who bribed our cronies) are planning an exit strategy. She was afraid that our evil Lord would send her to exile to another outpost, perhaps, Bhutan, where she could do nothing there. With the Barisan Nasional (BN) coalition winning only 63%, our financial operations might take a big hit pretty soon coupled with the horrible subprime mortgage crisis from the United States.
I see Black Monday for the Kuala Lumpur Composite Index (KLCI) as a new opportunity rather than a crisis for us. I can only blame on those spineless investment bankers from Goldman Sachs and Merrill Lynch for taking the chance to tell their investors that it was time to cash out. Of course, the investors are afraid that their pork barrel projects in the Malaysia economic zones would fall apart, and hence they start to take cover. It is a herd effect, as I see it. Our Enemy has made some efforts to rebut us, particularly, those MPs in the opposition from Penang has already started with the message that they would welcome investment. It is not enough because all those management consultants, investment bankers and industry leaders are all on our side. In fact, it is a perfect ploy for you to plan your strategy for the next Singapore General Elections in 2011.
The keyword is fearmongering. You can start with George, your favourite closet liberal foreign minister, by talking up that a political change in Singapore would cause problems in the economy. You need to hammer this slowly like how those epidemics start from small interactions and subsequently hitting the tipping point. If we do it slow and steady, by 2011, the peasants would start thinking that if they are constantly made to fear that if they elect the opposition parties and win one more GRC, the Singapore ST Index will fall and jobs will be lost. Spin it more with high unemployment rates and high risk of losing foreign investment from the US and China and once again, we would win 82 out of 84 seats in the parliament. Trust me, with how brainless and money-faced Singaporeans are, you can imagine where their votes would end up. Of course, always end with the Minister Mentor and his gangster message that the opposition would send Singapore to hell if they won the elections.
You might need some grassroots support, for example, Lucky Tan, to continue telling the blogosphere how good the Singapore government is and what a big risk that the Malaysian voters are taking or try the bimbo blogger, Molly Meek, with her singing praises of the Prime Minister's leadership. The other bloggers will cry foul of fearmongering but continue to do that would be fantastic.
I am not so worried about you, because the opposition in Singapore is not business friendly. As long as they don't understand economics, they would always lose. After all, what's freedom of speech if you cannot feed yourself? As long as they have no understanding of business, they are no way close to those people in Penang. That would be the key to how we utilise stock market crises for our own benefit.
Continue on our evil work, as chaos only serve us better on the long run.
With no intended pun,
Uncle Screwtape
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