Dear Natasha,
Lately, reports have been flooding our Ministry of Evil on your outpost. Our Dark Lord has told me that he was happy with your work there and asked that you should take a break to meet and corrupt dumb young Singaporean guys.
I was impressed how you managed to get the entire Thailand team to walk out in the first semi-final of the football competition at the same time. You actually took the opportunity to whisper to the referee to reward a penalty at that crucial moment. After all, the Thais are not happy with the way how the little red dot acquired Shin Corp and it takes a penalty to send the relations into a bittle dispute. The Thais did not accept the suggestions of your incompetent cousin, Lokie to accept Thaskin's ways. They will rather deal with corruption instead of letting their economy flourish. Now the investors are avoiding Thailand, and soon, the people are poor again. Of course, he was dumb enough to let our Enemy get the coup started. Now, our money laundering business are taking a hit. Instead Lokie started new business on the football bookies. Lokie told me over his phone that the next leg would promise more drama. How did he accomplish that? All he did was to get the Thailand police to claim that they would not protect the Singaporeans from mobs. What a brilliant way to start a war between two countries. He was boasting to me how he manage to get the authorities to burn effigies of your minions.
Our Enemy must be having a hard time because peace is so fragile in this region. Of course, your cousin Wormtongue has been inciting bad foreign relations between the little red dot and the surrounding countries. What is amazing, everytime when the economy of a southeast asian country recovers, they will sink into coups and social unrests. The politics of envy are powerful, and only your management of our shadow government and propagation of materialistic values in Singapore have proven to be the right way to further our dark causes. The typical Singaporean only cares about cars, flats, pay and will not even bother if global warming, nuclear war and bird flus will destroy them. Even if you try to force feed them with Crazy Horse, that arty-farty striptease show which our Dark Lord invented, the robotic side of them has emerged.
Of course, my other subordinate has been turning the heat up in Johor. The problem with the countries around yours is the following. They have no knowledge and run by a bunch of morons who can make assertions like "reclamation of lands caused our floods". That disease of accusation 101 is spreading now like a virus even to the two big far right blogs.
I can see more darkness rising in the region. Keep up the good work and remember Darkness will prevail.
In Eternal Hate,
Uncle Screwtape
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